I am realistic in my outlook - I know that I can't do everything, and I especially know that I can't do anything perfectly. What always gets me, however, is how my self-care activities (reading, drawing, movies, etc.) usually fall down the list when my priorities demand to feel their importance. Of all of these, reading is what suffers the most. Reading is also what provides me the most of my self-care.
Reading is the one thing that asks nothing of me. I don't have to think of something to create - books and their authors have created it for me to enjoy. I don't have to be in one place to enjoy a good book. Reading simply lets me exist with it and within it. I definitely take from it much more than I give. No amount of reviews or book-buying will ever match what reading has done for me.
So - what happens when my favorite self-care activity falls down that list of priorities? Lots of things actually. I feel more disconnected and grumpy. I also find myself feeling empty. This sort of emptiness has nothing to do with my actual life - like I said, my life is full and I love all it's working pieces even when they are causing me all kinds of stress. No, this is the sort of emptiness that I feel myself regain at the end of the night when everything is quiet. Do you sometimes feel that? Our days are so full of other people and their needs, wants, and demands - then the stillness of the evening or night comes along and it can remind us of how little time we have to just sit in the silence.
Now, if you're me, you will at times try to take advantage of that silence to fill it up with reading time. I have learned that, at least in my case, I cannot read a book before bed. I will eagerly try to finish it which causes me to actually lose sleep. So - reading before bed is a no go for me especially because I have close to no willpower when it comes to books. I can't say I'm upset about the fact, really.
And this is where you'll find me, reader. In this place where I wish I had the energy and extra time during the day to fly through my reading. Instead you will find me exhausted, fighting sleep until I eventually succumb to it. And then do it all again the next day until I get the time to actually sit down and read.
All in all - I'm going through a reading slump. It has nothing to do with the books themselves, but rather the time I have to devote to them. Do you feel this? How do you feel better about it and start reading again? Let me know what you think.